Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize