i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
