just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
