I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
