If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
