dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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