Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
