K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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