is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
