I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
