I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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