oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
