The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
