he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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