He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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