i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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