Your tits are I can't wait for
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
