He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
