i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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