we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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