I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
