I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
