Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
