I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
