WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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