The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
