If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
