but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
