I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
