Got a toothbrush?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
