is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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