I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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