Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
