If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
