im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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