Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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