just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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