I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
