What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
