My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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