READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
