You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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