I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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