unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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