he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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