Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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