Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
