I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.