Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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(936): My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today. http://tfl.nu/sil6

Replies (10) Good night (10999) Bad night (796)
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(443): View more from Maryland

My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.

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(443): My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat. http://tfl.nu/c3g0

Replies (46) Good night (4628) Bad night (742)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.

(513): View more from Ohio

She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.

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(513): Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen. (1-513): She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do. (513): She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses. http://tfl.nu/52u6

Replies (35) Good night (1559) Bad night (5072)
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(407): View more from Florida

I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city

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(407): I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city http://tfl.nu/5mtu

Replies (32) Good night (6255) Bad night (1140)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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(678): Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce. http://tfl.nu/g2ub

Replies (4) Good night (3433) Bad night (999)
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(561): View more from Florida

His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.

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(561): His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face. http://tfl.nu/pof4

Replies (7) Good night (3116) Bad night (1168)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I swear they were about to hook up!!

(1-240): View more from Maryland

I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

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(240): I swear they were about to hook up!! (1-240): I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot. http://tfl.nu/yhvp

Replies (5) Good night (1934) Bad night (679)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot

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(810): Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot http://tfl.nu/f236

Replies (5) Good night (1981) Bad night (786)
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(904): View more from Florida

This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?

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(904): This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide? http://tfl.nu/lwqx

Replies (13) Good night (601) Bad night (1488)
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(734): View more from Michigan

WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES

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(734): WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES http://tfl.nu/4qd7

Replies (5) Good night (1651) Bad night (739)
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(619): View more from California

Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

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(619): Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it http://tfl.nu/st9u

Replies (5) Good night (1170) Bad night (593)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.

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(828): You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium. http://tfl.nu/fgxx

Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (515)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.

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(970): I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dlw8

Replies (5) Good night (2520) Bad night (590)
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(214): View more from Texas

Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer

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(214): Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer http://tfl.nu/w9ex

Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (542)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.

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(612): I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers. http://tfl.nu/s9wi

Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (465)

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