Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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  (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1479) Bad night (482)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

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  (845): i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen http://tfl.nu/31v4
  Replies (20) Good night (2353) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.

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  (860): Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day. http://tfl.nu/g1ig
  Replies (15) Good night (4541) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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  (913): the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job http://tfl.nu/faar
  Replies (24) Good night (6637) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3708) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"

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  (847): Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago" http://tfl.nu/h89t
  Replies (46) Good night (2107) Bad night (7915)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

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  (760): i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days. http://tfl.nu/h902
  Replies (11) Good night (2069) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.

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  (580): It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down. http://tfl.nu/xmf3
  Replies (2) Good night (1534) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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  (662): Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. http://tfl.nu/teq1
  Replies (7) Good night (2344) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket

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  (252): See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket http://tfl.nu/0lhc
  Replies (11) Good night (1448) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...

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  (+61): For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up... http://tfl.nu/ld08
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.

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  (620): Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/471z
  Replies (6) Good night (1298) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

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  (209): His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1343) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"

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  (423): So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY" http://tfl.nu/9gkr
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (225)

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