Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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