Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me

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(702): View more from Nevada

Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!

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(705): View more from Ontario

So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring

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