just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.