no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
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Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring