just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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