What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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