Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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