Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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