I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
