2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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