Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
