..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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