Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
