you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
