Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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