McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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