that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need to calm my uterus...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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